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Tag Archives: such trash!

An assault on the senses

After along day at work, I usually come home and camp infront of the idiot box. What better than some mindless hipshaking -bosom thrusting to take away office blues-but ever since MTV has switched over from music television to reality shows plus weird programming my staple diet has gone for a toss. As a result I am being forced..yes forced to seek recluse in the land of pancaked kitchen politics-Sony,Colors etc.And having your parents stay with you gives you a regional flavor as well.

So we have these serials which have tested my love for the idiot box.

Serial one (called manasputri I think) has our stylish-polyester vamp who is out to destroy the happiness of all who are clad in cotton and hence pure of heart. She steals the inheritance and the boyfriend of our leading lady who is too busy self sacrificing. (sample below).

So when i caught our serial last week-finally the vamp had been vanquished and arrested. And the heroic inspector on the side of law and all that is just went into a slapping frenzy.

“You vixen” (slap)

“You scheming lowlife” (slap)

“I’ ll make sure you are not fit to harm anyone ever” (slap)

While I am all for good prevailing over evil, let me tell you a rotound, potbellied inspector slapping a woman silly isnt my favorite way of achieving that.

Serial two (called parijatam) has the ever suffering wife whose alcoholic, abusive husband doesnt bat an eyelid falling all over other women or killing his own child. Of course he is doing all this under the influence of the stylish-polyester step mom (who is eyeing the family fortune) and we as the Tv audience wait for the day our lady in cotton finally shows him the error of his ways because beneath the binge drinking, infant killing abusive facade lies a heart of gold. Of course filing for a divorce post administering a correctly aimed kick in the nether regions is unheard of.

But the best of the lot comes from Ekta Maata’s stable. Apparently its the in thing in Balaji studios these days to replace havelis with tulsi in angan with stories based on real life set in chawls and other representations of the poor and the helpless. So this story (Bairi Piya) set in what I assume is Vidharbha where farmers are deep in the clutches of the village moneylender. And since they have nothing to pledge most of them being the responsible loving parents they are have pledged their young daughters to him. The money lender then carts these women off to pay off their debt to the village thakur. The main plot point comes when the thakur falls for one such pledged woman-our heroine Amoli. So you ask doesnt all this happen in real life? Maybe it does. But am sure the thakur isnt a former Grasim Mr.India contestant.And yes in real life a rapist thakur is not expected to reform through love for a cat eyed village belle.

More blogger opinions on this wonderful story here and here.

My only question is apparently there are viewers who love all this and lap it up resulting in blockbuster TRPs. But isnt there a significant class of people like me who desire to see something closer to our lives and something less cringeworthy. Can YRF television fill this gap? (MahiWay seems promising but I dont want to speak too soon and jinx it).

And Ekta Maata, while once upon a time your serials where so-bad-that- its-good-for-comic-relief, now its just plain crass.

There..am done. Now let me go and watch Splitsvilla-world war three for love(cough.cough.) in peace.

 
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Posted by on January 16, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

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Exercising my fundamental right to spew trash..

…is what a lot of bloggers do.

I understand that the essence of blogging is personal opinion and user generated content. I also understand that if I do not like the thoughts put forward by a particular author, there is always top right-red cross-left click. And yet couple of things have really riled me up.

Today I read a post on one blog which made me seethe. I am used to some bias in all views because we are humans and with life prejudices are unavoidable. But the vitriol this woman spewed was unbelievable. If one has been exposed to only one side of the story and that makes one hate the other side well great but when one puts up one’s opinions for the world to see there will be people who will not agree with you. You might have enabled comment moderation and allow only comments nodding in agreement with you through . After writing a hateful passage full of running down a group of people you are asking commentators to not make personal attacks.If I had the desire to waste my precious energy I would have torn her arguments to shreds one by one .If one cant suggest improvements to a defective system it is a  fate of their own making to suffer through it.

Over the past few days I have also come across another unique class of bloggers who advice on improving “game”-that is to get maximum bangs for minimum bucks(literally and figuratively). Though most of them are US based the misogynist views presented is shocking. And even more shocking is the millions of daily hits and hundreds of comments these bloggers get. There is this blogger who has written an entire series on why women need to be beaten because that’s what they secretly love in their men.Sample Rihanna.Although in all this drivel he made a suggestion that seemed to make sense in a twisted way. Supersuccessful women like Rihanna who choose out of their free will to go back/shield an abuser need to be socially castigated as much as the men who attacked them.

Going through so many half baked blogs with pathetic grammar and content is hard enough. To see talented writers expose their prejudices so bluntly is harder.

But then thats what I guess we have the bright X red button for.

PS: Not providing any links!

PS2: Roo’s post on nothing remains hidden on the internet is so true. While social network stalking( :D) someone I knew I stumbled across the profile of this blogger I frequently read. The shock of unearthing someone’s real identity (the blogger uses a pseudonym) was akin to watching a movie after reading the book!Not always like your expectations!

 
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Posted by on March 16, 2009 in Uncategorized

 

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Mit jaaye….common sense…

See this is the sad thing about people like me. Over the past few weeks I saw an array of superbly crafted awesome Bollywood fare but did not review or praise any. It left me reeling almost thinking this was the brave new Bollywood. First Rock On. As I wrote earlier this movie despite some forced melodrama makes you feel good, it connects with you because most of us have dreams, maybe not rockstar material but “alternate careers” we could have been successful and happy in had we simply had the err..guts to follow them.

Next week I saw A Wednesday. I cannot gush enough about this movie. It has never been more relevant than today when as a common man you step out without the guarantee of returning home alive. Naseer and Anupam Kher and the assorted cast of this thriller played it so flawlessly that its difficult for me to imagine these actors in nonsensical roles like in Jaane-man and Mohra. Heck, even Deepal-Kabhi-aar-kabhi-paar-Shaw with her weird makeup and pursed lips hindi channel news reporter fit the bill. I say if you haven’t seen this movie yet you book your ticket now and go.

The third was Last Lear. It is your pretentious Arty-fartsy cinema all right. But there is poignancy in the movie and a strength in the big B’s character that sails it through. The undercurrent of struggles of women just appeased the hidden feminist in me.

So when you have been exposed to a slew of good hindi films you expect your luck to continue. So in all that excitement I booked my first day second show for Kidnap. It helped that it starred the eyebrow-full delicious Imraan Khan in a negative role.(He he don’t girls love the bad boys)

*******some spoilers ahead**************

So there we were in over priced PVR seats battling the constant fear of getting blown to bits(holiday, big targeted city, crowded Mall, hello?)as Minisha Lamba burst into an item song within 2 seconds of the start. You know you can guess in the initial 15 minutes if you are gonna sit back and enjoy the next 3 hours or just regret wasting them . Well we sat through the song giving Sanjay Gandhvi (Mere Yaar ki Shaadi Hain, Dhoom, Dhoom 2) the benefit of commercial considerations. But enter scene 2 where the supposedly 17 year old Minisha *smirk* has an argument with her mother who is played by *drum rolls* Vidya Malwade (Cakh De, Vidya Sharma, India Captain). A collective huh goes in the hall. But wait the movie has just started and you have that “oh” moment when you realize this is going to be one killer movie.

So next moment a heated discussion later Minisha strips to a bikini and goes swimming presumably to cool off, where she gets kidnapped by the unshaven,unwashed Imran Khan. Now the cat and mouse game with her super-rich, super-arrogant dad Sanjay Dutt will begin. To show how powerful and I-mean-business Sanjay’s character is we have him addressing a meeting where after informing the assembled employees how arrogant, greedy and successful he is, he asks them to handover an embezzler or stop coming for work. Ok, we are scared now, this is the tough guy.

Soon he is contacted by ex-wife Malwade who informs him his daughter is kidnapped. Apart from the stressing problem of missing daughter Ms.Malvade has also to face the distress of being unable to find a single shirt/blouse which fits her and is forced to wear the same shirt/blouse she wore when she was a 7 years old. The result is quite popping (for males-eye popping as well). But we soon realize it is a problem inflecting her progeny as well because why else will a kidnapped helpless girl choose to wear midriff and cleavage baring itsy-bitsy bits around the kidnapper. Gandhvi did say something about Minisha’s character being fierce and not one to take her kidnapping lying down. And sure enough, she coaxes her kidnapper to let her perform a white-clothes-on-beach-under-waterfall song, the lyrics of which superbly showcast her strength of character.It does take a very strong girl to mouth “yeh mausam bada awesome” while bathing in front of her kidnapper.

After all this we get to the Sanjay-Imran game. After lot of useless running around we are given a flashback of why Imran behaves the way he does. The story as convincing as Dev Anand playing a college-goer. If you have seen Zinda, you will start drawing parallels by now and find Zinda infinitely better.

Anyhoo, lot of arbit stunts, moves, chases involving the agile Imran, Dutt and Dutt’s paunch, (including Malvade and Dutt freeing a prisoner from jail, the sequence of which alone can cause all your grey cells to commit mass-suicide) we have the climax where Imran dies and lives again.

The only dialogue which salvages the entire movie and 3 hours of wasted life time is when in the epilogue Imran asks for forgiveness from his kidnapee and informs her he now works in a software firm. The audience in the cinema hall in India’s IT city was falling off the chair by now. The perfect ending would of course have been a love story and marriage between Imran and Minisha’s  character but Gandhvi leads up the tempo only to disappoint by not adding this master stroke.

So moral of the story

Do go and watch kidnap if:

  1. You finally want to get rid of the grey cells forever
  2. You can do anything for Imran Khan
  3. You can do anything for Sanjay Dutt
  4. You can do anything to see cleavage
  5. You are dying to see a good comedy film

 
7 Comments

Posted by on October 3, 2008 in movies, Uncategorized

 

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