Gender Bender

24 Feb

I don’t know come May if I will get a little bouncing baby boy or girl. 

Because pre natal sex determination is banned in India. 

You just need to look at our sex ratio to know why.
You see nature creates more females than males but our culture while worshiping the female form as a goddess prefers a male heir as a default.
So 40 years ago people kept trying till they got a son. And ended up with 10 kids.They still do that except those girls preceding the boy are often killed in the womb. 

I wish I could say it’s a poor mans or an illiterate mans problem but it’s not. The discrimination and it’s subtle variances are part of the daily life in India across classes.
I remember my erstwhile neighbors crestfallen, the MIL sobbing away because the DIL delivered a second daughter. Even today elders of the family would bless you with a long life, and healthy sons (not children). Sons get a birth ceremony while daughters..well just show up. 

Of course there are socio economic factors behind this in a poor country like ours where sons are seen essentially as an investment for the old age of parents while daughters are to be given away along with money ( dowry) to another family. Add to it the ever hanging sword of a daughter’s honor. To ensure it isn’t sullied till she gets married – that her character is pure.
I can go on but there are many articles available online which can explain all these issues more coherently. 

Things are changing slowly though. A high percentage of urban couples no longer have a male fixation and the story is reversing in the interiors as well.

But where does this leave a newly expectant parents?
Signing a legal document before entering an ultrasound clinic. Essentially the technician and the parents swear an oath not to ask or reveal the gender of the fetus. 

That hasn’t stopped husband and I from analyzing our scan at all angles to see if a nub exists. Reading old wives tales on dancing wedding rings. The scull theory. Looking at Chinese gender charts. Turning various shades of green as friends in other countries post shades of blue or pink and decide on names. Reading meanings into cravings. 

Does it matter to us? Not a bit. 

My own life is a testimony that if you invest in a daughter she can be the support your son may or may not be. 

And a son? I hope he takes after my husband who does the tight rope between me and his mom in the most excellent fashion.

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Posted by on February 24, 2015 in Uncategorized


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