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Awkward

05 Apr

Social situations scare me.
I blame it on my childhood like all
things wrong with me. I was an only child, with hardly any friends outside my school and no cousins or playmates my age. People hardly visited us. Like language skills I picked up social interaction outside my home which means I do okay with people my age, tend to revere people older and have no idea what to do with people significantly younger. This has held me good stead as a student but as I progress in life I have realised the price I pay for being anti social and unapproachable. I have definitely paid it in my professional life but being married into a family that is social and very out there often makes me stick out like a sore thumb.
People often take reticence for pride. They don’t understand how something so natural, for why man is a social animal after all, could be tough for anyone. It’s easier to think the other person just thinks too much of themselves than imagine they are uncomfortable or scared in company.
But let’s focus this essay on how it feels to be socially awkward in a world of extroverts.
It sucks.
When your body language is closed, you struggle with small talk, you feel no desire to befriend new people or make them like you – let’s just say your life ain’t going to be a bed of roses.
I wish I could close this with 10 steps to work around this but I can’t. I can only hope the people closest to me understand my introvertishness and adapt their gregarious nature to it. I realise there are certain traits which will always be gold standards for humanity and preferring my own company on Saturday night and claiming no credit for work you do aren’t gonna be on it. I strive towards the established traits of universally loved human beings but it has taken me around half a lifetime to finally accept I can’t change some of my hard coding.
So next time you ( you being the standard issue social creature) see someone who seems more interested in their glass of water than coming over and talking to you- make the first move. They will be relieved and who knows you may be one of the few friends they make in their lifetime .

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2 Comments

Posted by on April 5, 2014 in life, Uncategorized

 

Tags: , ,

2 responses to “Awkward

  1. Rituja

    April 17, 2014 at 7:11 am

    Well can totally relate to it. Being married to a Punjabi and working in MNC really tests our limits. Going out of comfort zone is the norm but it never gets easy.

     
  2. allshadesofdrama

    January 7, 2016 at 3:05 pm

    I love this piece you wrote. Can totally relate to it.

     

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