Last week I watched Yeh Jawani Hain Deewani. Or as a friend posted on FB Yeh Jawani Hain Yawni. After the first half I switched off. Ideally I should have identified more with the late 20s/early 30s friends more but all I wanted to do was to slap them back to reality.
Anyways this being not a critique or a film review what hit me most was how much of Bunny there was in me. And also how much I have suppressed that Bunny to be the person I am.
Yes maybe most people wake up on a Monday morning and look at their formal clothes and think main udna chahta hoon, bhaagna chahta hoon, girna bhi chahta hoon par bas rukna nahi chahta but I don’t think in their spare time they sit and make excels thinking about the money it would take to do a year of travelling. Maybe the most upsetting part of turning 30 later this year for me would be the fact that I have never been to Europe.
Not many people would understand the choice of words Bunny uses to expresses his fear of missing the light show because “what if it turned out to be spectacular and he didn’t get to see it”. I have grappled with this fear all my life. This fear of missing out. What if I couldn’t see all I wanted to see. What if those things were so spectacular and I never saw it. Take a vacation with me and you will know. I need to do everything a place has to offer. I make my Bunny chits and can tire the &@!? out of you on a vacay.
People critique Bunny’s character for being weak because of the ease with which he cuts off from the people – leaving them behind. In fact the whole second half is a sermon to him about the high price he pays for chasing his dream and forgetting the people. And then I am reminded of myself (at least a younger self) who would never look back leaving the familiar with a disconcerting joy because the new was almost always better, more exciting. Who would never remember to call her family. Not because she didn’t care but because she was busy exploring whole new worlds. I know how easy it is to forget, to be alive only in your present.
Rootless. Many people would think this is the worst life could offer you. And they wouldn’t know the joy of not belonging to anywhere, to meld and be one with any place and yet not belong to any.
Not a day passes when I don’t wish for Bunny’s life while living out Naina’ s.
But when I slip into my comforter at night, the familiar countours of my bed which has melded to my form, when I reach out at night in a nightmare and find the warmth of the husband nearby I know rukna bhi itna bura nahi hain.
Hmmm…maybe the movie wasn’t so superficial and bad.