It has been so long since I have updated this blog that even the spam comments have stopped ,not to mention the wordpress dashboard has undergone a complete overhaul.
I got married.
Yup-someone agreed to marry me. What can I say-miracles do happen.
Of course he is the-most-amazing-man-walk-on-earth and maybe now I can also post awww inspiring posts. But let me just make it clear-today is not that day.
Today is the day I tell you about the things they don’t teach you at Harvard.
1) If the wedding card says “Arrival of baraat: 8PM”, You should leave for bridal makeup at 7.30, so that you are back by 10 by which time the baraat would actually arrive. Do NOT get ready by 6PM taking into consideration Delhi’s traffic or any other factors like you are a South Indian and ignorant that North India works on a different time zone.
2) 20 sleepless, 7kg lehenga lugging hours later still smile for every single photo and REMEMBER YOUR BEST PHOTO ANGLE. You will get over the lack of sleep but ugly marriage pics live forever.
3) Prepare for that moment when after the 20 sleepless hours, and after unclipping the 200 pins on your hair bun you take a bath and come out to the room to see a saree kept ready for you to wear. There are 20 relatives waiting to judge you outside. Spending you life searching for that perfect Levis isn’t going to help you then but prodigious memory of the 2 times you did wear saree would.And yes suddenly that petticoat will seem longer than needed and peep out from the bottom.
4) Getting up at 10AM the next day and heading straight for breakfast may not reflect too well on your upbringing but will kill whatever little expectations are there out of you.
5) When it comes to cooking be honest- Maggi is your signature dish.
6) While filling forms hold back the habit and tick on married and Mrs.
7) Expect shoes, used towels, clothes anywhere and everywhere. Attitude that let it lie there till he learns to pick up after himself will not help because if you have sudden house guests you cant explain away those towels
8) Your new best friend is you maid/cook. Do half the work yourself to ease the burden on her. Offer free spa service once a month. DO WHATEVER NEEDED to retain her.
9) Yes hard day at work. Sympathies, however the tea will not make itself.
10) Personal time? Huh?
I know for someone who loathes domestic work and would rather roll in filth than move a finger I am shocked at my own transformation into I cant sleep because I know there is curry stain on my table. But then they say marriage is full of surprises-don’t they?
PS: that’s my photo, so thieving publications you better not steal it!