If one day seeing my ghor tapasya of calling for help every time I am knee deep in figurative crap the good Lord does appear in front of me and asks in full Dolby sound effect of what is the one and the only thing I want, what would my answer be.
Since I have spent considerable part of my life day dreaming I have answered at various points in my life to this question with request to pass in the exam due the next day, extraordinary intelligence, to be beautiful, to lose weight, to get recruited and to have a storehouse full of hard cold cash.
But with age they say comes wisdom(teeth or otherwise). And I think I have the answer to this question. No its not 42.
I want to be blessed with the ability to say No. A No which sounds like a yes and makes the listener not forget the help/good I have been doing my entire life and judge me for that one “no”.
I have always had the people pleaser gene dormant in me to re-surface at the oddest of hours. I wont put it past me to hand over the last parachute in a crashing plane to my co passenger (whom I would have met 5 minutes ago and not spoken a word to till now) so that he doesnt feel bad and doesnt judge me.
I can go all Freud and delve into depths of childhood insecurity and feelings of not being good enough but to cut a long story short “I find myself totally incapable of saying no”.
No to free loaders in my life.
No to sales people who take me for a ride.
No to coworkers who dump their work and mistakes on me.
No to people who hide their ineptitude as mine.
No to people who do not value me in their life.
No to the shit I often get peddled.
If that one No is going to make them forget the tons of good I have done over time for them, then let it be-they didnt deserve the generosity in the first place.
So now God grant me this wish please. As usual this is the last thing I will ever ask of you.
PS: So a friend of mine introduced me to the concept of “Liquid Oxygen” –kyunki liquid isse jeene nahi dega and oxygen isse marne nahi dega. In real life it is combination of plea and threat which can force the other party to do as per your wish. So you switch back and forth between threats and senti till they agree to your whims.
Apparently I have been in Liquid oxygen all my life.