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Cry me a river

29 Jun

I was watching Metro yesterday. No not the train but the movie. All our jodis have happy endings (literally for Nafisa-Dharmendra) except Shilpa-Shiney(ya that’s the spoiler,evil grin).

After everything that passes between the two, Shilpa goes back to her husband. And in between cursing Kaykay ‘s character(who is your normal male chauvinist pig) I said why? Why did she go back?

Why isn’t it easy to walk away from a relationship that’s abusive? And by abusive I do not mean physically abusive but emotionally or mentally abusive also.

Why do wives never make police complaints against husbands who treat beating them a sport? Because she is financially dependent on him? Because of children?

And yet I know a girl who was as independent, feministic and as its-my-life as they come. Her boyfriend in a fit of range punched her left eye. Here was this girl who was NOT married, did NOT have children, was financially independent and was no shrinking violet. He landed her in hospital. And what did she do? She went right back to him.

Physical violence leaves scars. Emotional violence is a league further. It chips away at you, your confidence, and your life one day at a time. Till you feel you aren’t good enough. And this guy before you, quietly mocking you is the best you will ever have. That he has done you a favor by being in your life. So you stick, clutch to what has brought more harm than happiness. Its better to take that punch in the face. At least it has better potential of self healing.

Is it possible to be addicted to someone? They say

baar baar duharaoge to pad jaati hai aadat
fir chahe ho khuda ya ho muhabbat

I know another girl who was what can be politely called a bombshell. And she was also intelligent. And she had a boyfriend who was cheating on her and made sure she cried every alternate day. She never left him.

I know of people who keep forgiving and forgetting.

What is that keeps these relationships which do not have the majburi of a child or money going?

Fear? Of never finding someone else? The hope that things will change? Because after sometime the guy says sorry?

They say you compromise in a relationship. But how much do you compromise? When do you know its not about you or your happiness but just a obsessive attempt to salvage the relation?

How much do you bend without breaking your back?

Can a sorry or show of repentance make up for physical hurt? Or for the permanent complex hurting words give?

The stupidest mistake in life is thinking the one who hurt you the most, won’t hurt you again.

Please do not make that mistake again. You have the strength. Move on. Love is unconditional, relationships are not.

PS: I was getting fat at home over the past month hence lack of posts and to those who hate when I become serious on my blog, I promise something lighter next time.

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7 Comments

Posted by on June 29, 2007 in Uncategorized

 

7 responses to “Cry me a river

  1. adhiira

    July 1, 2007 at 3:32 am

    i want to watch metro…n i want to read something funny that you write 😛

    on a serious note.. mmm… i ve never quite figured out y ppl stick on with abusive relationships…like u i hav observed dat dey do too…
    its probably their inability to shed off the security of habit n tread into unknown territories by themselves…
    dunno..

     
  2. Anonymous

    July 1, 2007 at 4:20 am

    Peer pressure.

    The beauty with Kay Kay’s character was that you expect him to behave that way ,through out.

    The beauty with Metro ,again is precisely the realism as applicable to the indian society.MCP etc included.

    K.

     
  3. anN-series

    July 1, 2007 at 1:23 pm

    loved the line ‘one who can hurt u the most will not hurt u again’…hv personally seen such cases, but then its not always the men who r at fault. there r women who ‘abuse’ men.

     
  4. vishal

    July 3, 2007 at 12:57 am

    hii
    gr8 blog well there are chauvinist in both the genders the movie portrayed the male one is suppose.there r males like KK but also like the sidhiq(kangna’s counterpart) who can accept their love no matter what happened
    adieu

     
  5. Bijay Kumar

    July 4, 2007 at 7:54 am

    I came across a poem on another blog in this same endless Internet…the mind…can catch frequencies…can create illusions…and when we can think only of ourselves it is called selfishness.
    I don’t know how it is shown in movies or what the so called open minded people think of it, but I know.

    The greatest thing in love is thinking the one who hurt you the most, won’t hurt you again.

     
  6. adhiira

    July 8, 2007 at 10:19 am

    hey! dats my poem that you talked about :D…yayyyy…im becoming famous…haha….

     
  7. sat

    August 5, 2007 at 1:31 am

    I usually don’t comment, especially when it seems someone is going overboard over a film/serial…
    My interpretation of the film is Shiney is a looser, nobody knows why his wife left him, except his own version. He has his responsibility towards his wife, and it had to be adjusted with his hobby and occupation. Moreover, I think film is being practical as in what the current societal norms are, and what will sell in the market. Having said that I would have loved Shilpa to divorse him and become a single mom.
    … i think not too much 😉

     

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