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Life in a metro

23 May

7.00 am (alarm) Snooze dabao..snooze dabao…
(In half consciousness presses cancel instead)

7.30 am Yaar, 5 min hue nahi? (Checks alarm)

7.31 am (Eyes popping out one feet from face) oh !@#$%^& !

7.45 am (abolutions later, takes out iron and opens cupboard and dives into the mess)

7.50 am (retrieves shirt successfully, checks time) oh !@#$%^&*

7.55 am (runs towards mess)

7.56 am “bhaiyya kuch khane ko do”
“ maam 5 min ruko”
“nahin hai 5 min”
“bread hai, chalega?”
“ haan haan de do”

7.59 am (cutting the figure of dignified feminine beauty with mouth full of bread and jam and gulping down tea, classmate saunters in)
“office?”
“ nah Ms World pageant”
(classmate looks at food all over chin and on shirt)” ohk all the best!”

8.03 am (running towards bus stop, 186 passes when at gate) “oh !@#$%^&”

8.04 am at bus stop

8.10 am at bus stop

8.15 am at bus stop

8.20 am at bus stop

8.25 am next bus.(hops in)

8.30 am sweaty aunty sits down next to D_grail, rubs sweaty arms on D_grail’s arms, cringe… cringe…

8.40 am (aunty starts of in marathi) “ nako dako blah blah andheri?”
“ marathi nahi malum”
(least interested in that information)” kuthe blah blah blah”
“pata nahi”

8.50 am staring at co passenger’s hair

8.55 am staring at co passenger’s hair

9.00 am staring at co passenger’s hair

9.05 am (Andheri station) ( dangerous action sequence..bullet time…D_grail surrounded by honking buses and angry autos, but smoothly jumps out of all danger. Mass of humanity runs out at her from station. D_grail takes out her weapon, her elbows and clobbers her way in)

9.10 am in 9 dabbo wali slow local to churchgate

9.15 am in 9 dabbo wali slow local to churchgate

9.20 am in 9 dabbo wali slow local to churchgate

9.25 am in 9 dabbo wali slow local to churchgate

9.30 am (dadar/elphinstine road) (shove push elbow way out of local, further shove push elbow way to office)

9.38 am (office) Telecaller “ maam crib crib crib”
Doc boy manager “maam crib crib crib”
Verifier “maam crib crib crib”
Data entry operator “ maam crib crib crib”

10.38 am Telecaller “ maam crib crib crib
Doc boy manager “maam crib crib crib”
Verifier “maam crib crib crib”
Data entry operator “ maam crib crib crib”

11.38 am Telecaller “ maam crib crib crib
Doc boy manager “maam crib crib crib”
Verifier “maam crib crib crib”
Data entry operator “ maam crib crib crib”

12.38 pm Telecaller “ maam crib crib crib
Doc boy manager “maam crib crib crib”
Verifier “maam crib crib crib”
Data entry operator “ maam crib crib crib”

1.00 pm (mentor, friend, cartoonist) “lunch?”

1.10 pm (shady eating joint)”kya khana hai?”
“kuch bhi order kar de”

1.15 pm waiting for lunch

1.20 pm waiting for lunch

1.25 pm waiting for lunch

1.30 pm waiting for lunch

1.35 pm waiting for lunch

1.40 pm eating tasteless preparation

1.45 pm eating tasteless preparation

1.50 pm “bill please”

1.52 pm (looking at bill) “what the #$%^&^, this is expensive!”

2.00 pm (office) Telecaller “ maam crib crib crib”
Doc boy manager “maam crib crib crib”
Verifier “maam crib crib crib”
Data entry operator “ maam crib crib crib”

3.00 pm Telecaller “ maam crib crib crib”
Doc boy manager “maam crib crib crib”
Verifier “maam crib crib crib”
Data entry operator “ maam crib crib crib”

4.00 pm Telecaller “ maam crib crib crib”
Doc boy manager “maam crib crib crib”
Verifier “maam crib crib crib”
Data entry operator “ maam crib crib crib”

5.00 pm Telecaller “ maam crib crib crib”
Doc boy manager “maam crib crib crib”
Verifier “maam crib crib crib”
Data entry operator “ maam crib crib crib”

6.00 pm Telecaller “ maam crib crib crib”
Doc boy manager “maam crib crib crib”
Verifier “maam crib crib crib”
Data entry operator “ maam crib crib crib”

7.00 pm “yaar jaldi karo”

8.00 pm “yaar aur kitna bacha hai”

8.30 pm (dadar/ elphinstine station) (shove push elbow way into local)

8.31 pm “yeh Andheri slow hai ya Borivili?”
“Borivili”
“ oh !@#$%^&”

8.41 pm in 9 dabbo wali slow local to borivili

8.51 pm in 9 dabbo wali slow local to borivili

9.01 pm (Andheri) (shove push elbow way out of local)

9.05 pm (pushing, shoving, elbowing at station)

9.08 pm out of station sees a queue of people at bus stop, stands at the end

9.15 pm at bus stop

9.20 pm at bus stop

9.25 pm at bus stop

9.30 pm “what the !@#$%^” (walks towards auto and gets in. auto starts. Glances out. 186 rolls into bus stop) “what the !@#$%^&*”

9.40 pm in auto and traffic

9.45 pm in auto and traffic

9.50 pm in auto and traffic

9.55 pm in auto and traffic

10.00 pm in auto and traffic

10.05 pm in auto and traffic

10.10 pm NITIE

10.12 pm room

10.15 pm(calls guide) “ I did blah blah blah today”
“ theekh hai…continue tomorrow also”

10.20 pm (dinner)

11.00 pm (bath)

11.30 pm (listens to loud tacky songs and checks mail…okay okay gtalks and orkuts)

12.05 am (eyelids start drooping)

12.10 am (falls onto keyboard asleep)

12.12 am (shifts to bed, throws whatever on bed to floor, and climbs in)

12.13 am (snoring)

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6 Comments

Posted by on May 23, 2007 in Uncategorized

 

6 responses to “Life in a metro

  1. Anonymous

    May 23, 2007 at 12:59 am

    Looks like you have got too much into describing the metro life !!!
    Try something else for a change !!!

     
  2. Anonymous

    May 23, 2007 at 10:02 pm

    Great!!!Really enjoyed tht….Seems like tht after kalam and manmohan singh you are the busiest

     
  3. blow

    May 26, 2007 at 12:53 pm

    orkut’s everywhere innit?? heh

     
  4. anN-series

    May 30, 2007 at 12:43 pm

    great post..as usual left me laughing left right centre!!!!

     
  5. bling

    June 27, 2007 at 1:57 pm

    heyy..i cud so relate..

     
  6. Dee

    July 8, 2007 at 3:16 am

    Gosh…! It was hilarious reading through “nako dako blah blah… andheri?” …. Sounded too funny.. Still making me laugh while commenting on it! 😀

     

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