So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Right now am clutching my right ankle and shots of pain are streaming up my knee.
Couple of hours ago. Placement brochure profile shoot. Nice clothes( not the omnipresent ICICI Lombard/Prerana/Confluence t-shirts which apart from being free are 2 sizes too big.). Preening. Supermodel confidence. Slanted steps. Uncomfortable heels. Attempt at being cool. Audience of around 30. Ankle twists. Flying. Landing. Damage control- impossible.
People may have moved on but I on the other hand can’t move at all.
Your job’s a joke, you’re broke, your love life’s D.O.A.
To be embarrassed about my marks was a new and strange feeling. Now it feels at home.
Being broke was accepted as part of lifestyle in engineering. Hand to mouth existence took on a whole new meaning. One weekend out in Mumbai and it takes the phrase to the next level. Dad now if only like all good mallus you had gone to gelf. You could have had millions of riyadh and another family stashed away by now.
Long distance relationships. Its difficult conversation when two people talk at the same time. Its tougher when the conversation is on the phone. Virtual hugs are as snuggly and cuddly as the steel toaster.
It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear
Yes sometimes I feel retarded. The rise of the share market and release of a new IPO doesn’t send my blood rushing. The dollars saved by improving operation efficiency of a plant at Timbuktu doesn’t send my adrenaline pumping. Am I normal?
You’re still in bed at ten and work began at eight
And yeah no one put a proxy for you.
Your mama warned you there’d be days like these
But she didn’t tell you when the world has brought you down to your knees
When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year
Although engineering taught me that usually you would have only your pillow and winamp to share your misery an MBA teaches you how hopelessness feels. How to walk through life with a stupid smile on your face when all you feel is confusion at where you are going. To fake a confidence you don’t feel. To let your tongue cover for your brain.
A year ago it seemed life couldn’t have blessed me more. Today I doubt the choices I made. From idealist supreme to total moral corruption, I traveled the distance in 4 years but today am in a limbo. Faith has stopped answering my questions. An arrow without purpose I know can only cause collateral damage.How long can you walk direction less? How long can you work on something that barely holds your interest?Who should you trust and why? Should you compromise on your beliefs? Should you say yes to temptation? Should you take a chance heavily loaded against you?
Does everyone go through these? Does everyone feel these things?
Is it possible to go from ecstatic euphoria to depths of despair?
Misery is bearable. Emptiness of soul is not.
PS: even Blogger has put an end to my resistance to Blogger Beta by simply refusing me to sign in till I move. Sigh!