The football world cup is drawing closer and I live in mortal fear. I still remember the last one (or was it the one before?) the one France won. My dad would set the alarm for midnight and then refuse to sleep anyway. During the game time he would be oblivious to his surroundings. You would think the fortunes of Argentina (his favorite team) depended on his viewing the entire match without blinking once. I was just happy to see Batistuta run around, blonde hair flying. This time I don’t even know who the good looking..i mean talented players are. I would appreciate Rolando’s natural talents more if he had used one of his sponsorship deals to fix his buck teeth and if Zidane had got hair weaving done…
It’s the same with cricket matches. During the indo-pak series our class attendance hit an all time low. Only 13 people were present. Coincidently all of them were girls.
It’s all hype. Take any channel. The game begins with a weather report, crowd report and analysis of the previous 100 games. Then a couple of commentators would walk to the pitch and vigorously poke different parts of it and produce the verdict-dead, will aid spin (if in India) and bouncy and has juice (!!)( if in Australia). Surprise.
Finally when the match begins we first see the live action, then an instant replay and then slow motion. Then the last two from four different angles.
At the half we have highlights of the first half, followed by interviews of people on how they played in the first half and their strategy in the second half. Finally game over, we have a recap of the game followed by half an hour of score board.
Now contrast this with the times of DD.
Yashpal Sharma “ jin darshako ne tv abhi khola ho…”
Maninder Singh (pitch rising)”…aur yeh gend boundary ki aur bhaagi jaa rahi hai…aur yeh shandaar shot “
But how can Ekta Kapoor retain eye balls in the times of the World Cup. She gets Star to bring on kyunki… half an hour early and shows exciting shots from last weeks show. When action starts, camera will replay in slow motion as tears trickle down Tulsi’s cheek..and have instant replays of all marriages. Then show switches to another camera for another view Tulsi’s kanjeevaram. In the break we can have one of the characters interviewed on their behavior in the first half followed by predictions for the second. At the end of the show we will have a recap consisting of the total number of marriages, divorces, deaths, back-from-the-dead in that particular episode.
That should keep the world cup out of a few household for some time.
PS: Intellectual thieving from At Wit’s End done in this post. Please don’t sue me. I am a big fan and may have internalized quite a chunk of Bombeck’s work