The WSW wears Bata

It has been proven that shopping is to me what Juliet was to Romeo, Heer was to Ranjha and ShahRukh is to Karan Johar movies. Its a predictable cycle.Racks of well dispalyed sho…err anything behind glass facades draw me with invisible strings till I empty the wallet at the cash counter. Then on my way back home I lug the mostly unneccessary shopping and multifold guilt kicks in. But nothing that a nice chocolate fantasy at the nearest CCD cant solve. After reading a little too many Loosing weight for the dummies, I have learnt that I was a comfort eater and have gone beyond rewarding myself with chocolates. Now I reward myself with shopping and a pizza.And since one is of the body type that even thinking about a pizza will lead to increase in weight, the metabolism working at the same speed as Bangalore metro project, this means frequent upgrades in wardrobe not in style but essentialy in size. Hence more shopping. Its a vicious circle I tell you.

Anyways I digress. The issue in hand is the total non availability of a brand which sells decent reliable pair of footwear. Yes one day when I will step out of my Audi in my  Louboutin, I will remember this post and laugh but till then can anyone please suggest any other choices?

My old favorite is of course good ol’ Bata. Yes most of their collection is dowdy and grandma like but once in a while the CP store has some good ones in their Marie Claire brand. But here my second problem kicks in(whatay pun, I say). I cannot for the life of me wear heels. I mean obviously I can wear them, anyone can. I cant walk on them.Teetering and loking down on the world. Often I see wonderful designs on footwear and as soon as I pick it up , the 4 inch heel behind ensures I put it back at the same speed.

I once bought like the perfect pair with manageable heels and wow look from The Loft at Hirananadani. On my second day out in them the strap broke and I found myself hobbling near the Goregaon-Aarey intersection. A dragging heel can be seriously injurious to health when you plan to run across a high traffic road.

Then last weekend we visited Shopper’s Stop for their 51% sale. (It was a courtesy call, they were sending one mailer per day, the entire week) There one saw heaps and heaps of shoes from Catwalk and Inc.5. I have always felt Catwalk was a overpriced brand. Its quality didnt seem particularly better than say a Bata, but their prices definitely were. But in true foolish customer mindset I equated higher price->better quality. So at half price meant same quality-reduced price. I picked up a couple, forked out a decent amount of money and went home happy. Yesterday I wore one of the two for the first time. By noon the strap was hanging limply on the ankle.  If I didnt work a good 15-20 kms away from the store I had good mind to throw the damn pair at their face. I can still do it, but a good nights sleep has made the cobbler down the street a more attractive option.

By now I must have tried every every locally available brand and havnt found one which

1. doesnt give me a shoebite the first 3 times of wear.

2. the under-feet area doesnt get spoiled within a couple of months

3. the strap breaks within a couple of months

4. the footwear is ready to be thrown out in 4-5 months flat.

I do quite a bit of walking and use public transport and am not a heel person. Keeping these in my mind the only pairs that have gone on and on and on are the ones I have picked up on Colaba Causeway roadside. Does anyone know anything else-built to last? And yes, I dont intend to spend more than a grand.

 

Afteryouth sets in-am addicted to this song!

For all those wondering this is Afteryouth.

Sigh!

 

Aaj Cal

First thing first, appreciate the clever humor in the title name. Yeah now we can move ahead. So we had hauled ourself to a relative empty Cal airport. And the BF was coming to receive yours truly as he said I deserved such small pleasures since it was kind of back-to-civilization moment for me. Now I know he meant well and all but such an announcement meant imminent problems.

You know the sunlight–>vitamin D thing; I am full of vitamin D. Because my skin has now turned into a cocoa shade I dont recognise as mine. My feet have beautiful floral pattern due to the design of the footwear. And I have the patch of lighter skin under my watch strap to remind me what complexion I used to have. I also think am developing wrinkles. And dont get me started about the straw…I mean the hair.

Then you know the Anil-Kapoor hirsuteness I am blessed with. Give me a week without my nice parlour  wali aunty and I can give Krur Singh a run for his brows.Villages dont have nice ladies to pluck and pull every strand of offending facial hair and then charge a bomb for it. Since both men and women in village kiranas generally seem embarrassed at the “lady from bombay” (as my TSO introduces me) I just left the mustache at its rightful place-my upper lip.

Oh and have you heard how women gently perspire and whip out a hanky and are done with it. Am not one of those women. 20 minutes in the sun and am soaked. My deo fighting a loosing battle against the pig in my underarms. Woman of substance did you say? Yes, the substance being 1kg of grime and dirt which have mingled with the afore mentioned sweat and covered me all over.

So as I alighted next to Ms.my-dress-cant-get-any-tighter and Ms.peaches-and-cream-complexion in a sack which can successfully hide the multiple stomachs which are maintaining their health even with village daal-roti; was afraid BF will see this  dark blob with matted hair advancing towards him and may run for life. Was also scared I may go into epileptic fits seeing the first familiar face since eternity.

However BF pretended not to notice any changes (or maybe he didnt notice..which means he wasnt paying attention…which means….) and we proceeded to insti. Later we went to Nirmal Lifestyles where I was all sheep in big city. Went berserk at Shoppers Stop and bought more clothes (as if the mountain am lugging around isnt enough) and then ran into Crossowords. So bought 3 new easy light books which can now accompany me in my rural sojourns. Also saw Ironman. Again easy on the brain. Feel good.

Now the hard part, how to say good bye to something you have fallen in love with. Foolish blind love, where you deliberately not see the flaws. I am talking about NITIE. That will take a post I believe.

Till then…

 

Getting jiggly with it

 

Generally people put on weight after something like marriage, child birth or after becoming mon-cum-dustbin for leftover because ‘you cant waste food’. But I put on weight after getting a job. And its not like you know a couple of kilos, its like a couple of kilos on the left, a couple of kilos on the right. And I have transformed into a blimp.

You know a lot of people might find this a little hard to digest, but I used to be thin once. I mean not really waif like, am too ‘big boned’ for that…but you know flat stomach, flatter chest etc etc very very model like. (Oh so now you are rolling on the floor laughing, well go ahead)

Now I have tried really hard to convince myself with the voluptuous-i-love-curvy-woman bit, but seriously cylindrical is not my shape of choice.

I am not a naturally skinny person. You might know people who can polish off a couple of biryanis, burp and not put on an ounce. I on the other hand can walk past Café Coffee Day, think about the sizzling brownie and add a kilo. Again it doesn’t help that my parents concept of healthy-beautiful people comes from south Indian movies. I could be a mini elephant for all that matters but my mom would just say ‘you look just perfect, so healthy’ . So much for holding a mirror to the truth.

So its scary when my mom, my mom bought up on thunder-thighed Mallu movies looks at me and says it wont hurt to exercise a bit. I try to push out the inconvenient truth that none of my jeans fit and it’s a sole 50%lycra model that’s saving the day ( Lycra-either you have it or you don’t. Sob. Irony) Why even the tee I bought couple of months back looks like I stole it from my 6 year old niece and wriggled into it.

Malls, they have become my least favorite place. I mean 18year olds who look like they weigh as much seem to have their skinny jeans stitched on while I do a snake dance to get into my comfort fit. And why aren’t trendy tees ever available in L but only S and XS.

In fact any place where you can run into someone you knew a couple of years ago is a major non favorite. Like airports. Sample

Engineering classmate: WSW !

Me: Engineering classmate! How have you been? I almost couldn’t recognize you..you have thinned down and look faboulous.

EC: Yup me too. You have become so plump. You have put on quite a bit.

As if repeating that 100 times wasn’t enough, she jutted her elbows out, you know when you have to describe someone really round and did the action to ensure I got the point.

So I am thinking I should do something about this. I mean thin is in. Adnan Sami. Kareena Kapoor. Tanushree Dutta. (ehmm..all in showbiz…hmmm..)

I could

1. Join a gym. Gold’s gym? Imagine the wonderful things working next to Bipasha and John could do to my ego. But am in Bardwan and not Bombay. Out.

2. Work out on my own. That has never happened. Ever.

3. Orange juice diet. Yeah right.

4. Buy more lycra wale jeans. This sounds promising.

5. Wear salwar kurta all the time. Currently doing that.

The point of this post is next time you meet me after a break don’t say ohh you have put on. I have put on. I know that. Tell me if you know some quick fix to get out of it.Don’t use your elbows to emphasise. Don’t tell me about people who have become even thinner. They won’t survive drought or ice age. I will.