June 25, 2009
Less than 55!Yay!
As she stood in the crowded bus he sidled up behind her with a lecherous grin. Every turn and every brake was an opportunity to accidently fall on her. At the next jerk, she carefully positioned her 4” sharp heel onto his chappal clad feet and shifted all her weight onto it.
And oops, it has the W word as well!!!
June 18, 2009
And now a 75-er. Maybe the next one will meet the word limit of 55.
He was 23. On the verge of a new career. He had washboard abs and a dimpled smile.
20 years later, the beer gut and double chin wobbled as he cheered on Dhoni’s men.The career was a success but the marriage was not. His dimples on the obese face made him look like a mentally defunct overgrown child.
Leaving was not an option, she thought as she texted her gym instructor the color of her lingerie.
June 18, 2009
A 105-er and maiden attempt.
Lisa joined the big Consultancy and settled in Europe. She joined the small IT firm which specialized in reporting tools. Years passed. They lost touch. But she still read Lisa’s blog, posts about a workaholic lifestyle and partying under a Parisian moon. She looked at her payslip which would never fund a trip outside the country’s shores. Then she chanced across Lisa’s profile on a friends network. Lisa, with her boy cut hair, 20 pounds of extra weight and still single.Suddenly years of resentment washed out as she smirked “She spent years developing a personality when she should have just laid off the cheese.”
June 14, 2009
“It’s about sex, love, relationships, careers, a time in your life when everything’s possible. And it’s about friendship because when you’re single and in the city, your friends are your family.” —The original treatment used by Crane, Kauffman and Bright to pitch the series(FRIENDS) to NBC.
I have highlighted the part that struck me as the truest.
I am 25.I am at a time of my life when everything is possible. What I want I can do? I have the energy, the optimism, and most importantly the time to do it. Two years-five years down the line, things will change irreparably and the responsibilities would be too huge to live a life for myself.
Over the last few days all of a sudden I am feeling life rushing past me. I just want it to stop and turn it around. I feel time is slipping out my hands. The window where every thing, every dream had a shot at being realized is closing irreversibly.
I have spent 18 years of my life cramming and giving exams and getting good grades. And by looks of it the next 18 trying to get a better appraisal, some loans and cultivating an ulcer.
Some friends, the boy we discuss how we had dreamed so much for ourselves and now slowly are accepting a totally different life as reality.
This doesn’t mean we are writhing in unhappiness. Hell, we are so much better off than 99% of people in the world. We work in good places, in good positions for our comparatively young age, earn enough to dream about luxurious things in times of recession.
Yet we feel we could have done so much more. Do our own thing, chosen a very different creative line to follow. Travel. Meet. See. Read. Explore.
And this is the only time we can do those things. This is the only time we can make mistakes and recover from them. Our only chance to not be another face in the crowd. Find our true voice. And that time is going away. We are changing each day into the people we will be the rest of our lives-world weary and accepting the circumstances around us than trying to change them. We are too conventional, too molded in socially acceptable behavior to really be free spirited individuals after this time passes. 365 days-that is all a year has.24 hours-that is all a day has.
I was listening to Randy Pausch’s wonderful lecture on how he achieved each of his childhood dreams and that is what makes his life remarkable for him. And I thought well, I have a long way to go. The catch 22 is all those dreams need time which a regular job cant leave you with and money which only a regular job can provide. Or are these just brick walls there to test how badly I want those dreams? And which ones I want the most badly?
June 13, 2009
I have a cold so nasty and resulting in so much sneezing they can’t sleep in Norway.See am not a delicate sneezer, am not an achoo, am an ACHOOOO (with Dolby sound effects) and I often don’t stop after one, ten or fifteen. In fact the longest my friends had the patience to count they went till twenty nine. You see I have a deviated septum and a nasal allergy as well, making me react to even dust particles or microbes minding their own business in the country of Ivory Coast. All of which makes my survival in India a miracle by itself.
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I am also eating hot maggi right now. The third time this week. What can I say, I am addicted to it (or the wax in it as per some “reliable” forwards). It is every hostelite’s soul food. There was this one day Khush and I had hunger pangs at 12 in the night and the night canteen was closed. Khush had a packet of ready to cook pasta. We begged and borrowed a kettle (after groveling and promising that yes we will clean it before returning, there will be no yellow/any other colored stains on it, no we will not drop water on the circuitry) and got ready to make the pasta.
Soon the room was filled with delicious pasta smell and we understood the term pet main chuhe naach rahe hain. Finally both of us put the piping hot pasta in our mouths. Useless rubbish is a term we understood next. Also we proved successfully there does exist items in this world that you may not want to eat even if you are dying of hunger.
God we missed maggi that day.
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To the ladies, have you ever seen yourself in totally new light at a beauty parlour?I mean apart from the harsh tube light and thousand mirrors which amplify every cellulite packet. I observed a gradient of skin tones on myself. For example my arms and legs don’t match. They seem like they belong to two different individuals. My arms are thin and dark. My legs are fair and plump. And they are not like uniformly dark or fair. My arms are DARK till elbows (I wear half sleeves all the time) and then one gradient less till half way up till shoulder and then another shade till the shoulder and then another shade beyond. The man who sang “Wear sunscreen” knew what he was talking about.
Beauty parlors are great place for picking up random conversations. Nothing brings out the honesty like wearing the parlour maxi and showing your respective Anil Kapoor ka vardaan.
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Today I am going to a multiplex after what seems forever. I am so kicked about it I have posted the information on twitter and FB. Its Angels and them demons, and I have made it a point to reveal the ending to my entire social circle. If you don’t know the ending yet, I have 3 words for you- “Pope’s illegitimate son”
Muwahahahaha….
June 3, 2009
There is the drowning nightmare. There is the going for important meeting naked nightmare. And then there is the day without cellphone nightmare.
Maybe in a twisted sense I am lucky I got to live the third one and not the other two.
Honestly, I am to technology what anti-matter is to matter, Lex Luthur is to Clark Kent.Arch enemy.The nemesis.
Sample this:
Boy: I want the iPhone.
Me: Ek dum bakwaas hain, no Bluetooth, no forwarding,2 mpx camera!!
Boy: But 3G hain na?
Me: Jo India main nai hain!!And its soo expensive!! There are so many better phones from Nokia. Just see na.
Boy(waiting for such a slip): I want the E71.
Me: why?
Boy: I will check mails on my phone.
Me: you can check mails on your laptop.
Boy: I can type with Qwerty keys.
Me: you can type that on your laptop.
Boy: I will take your pictures on the 3.5 mpx camera and make it my wallpaper.
Me: okay.Lets buy it.
Men. Silly creatures.
Anyways digressing.
I don’t remember life before the cellphone. Hell, for a very long time we didn’t even have a landline. I mean how on earth did we survive not knowing
And what about the moment you switch your phone on after reaching a new city/state. The first people welcoming you and inquiring after your safety by bombarding your inbox isn’t your mommy-daddy or chachi from Chhattisgarh but
“Welcome to Hastianpur. XYZ now provides national roaming at 1 rupees only.”
Ahh. One can never be connected enough. So imagine in such yug and such technologically advanced age (where planes just drop off radars. Digress. Digress)
I spent not one, but two days without a cellphone.
The ear missed what has become its plastic extension, the palm involuntarily went to the ear, the fingers twitched…the withdrawl symptoms…
Seriously, I realized how dependent we are on this tiny machinery.
So how much of your life does your phone control?
Previous posts on cellphones here and here. Really old stuff!
May 31, 2009
I have lived away from home for some 7 years and counting now. You would think someone who had an extra protected childhood the first few days away from home would have been tough. Not for yours truly. For me it was an adventure, almost like learning to fly. Yes looking back the food sucked, the acco sucked and everything was scary the first time around-whether boarding a bus without understanding the number or destination written in a foreign tongue or walking back alone after class. But it was new and being able to do things yourself was thrilling.
The freedom, the independence was you could say politely was giving me a kick! No more explanations on where you are going, with whom you are going and how long you will be gone.
There were new friends to be added to the existing coterie. In hindsight I may have painted a too rosy picture but yes I don’t particularly remember feeling too lonely or angtsy. There were always friends around and maybe my grouch those days was there was never any time alone.
Till I started working.
And work life and student life are chalk and cheese even if its staying away from home. From the constant humdrum that is a hostel to coming back to an empty apartment every evening. To be surrounded by gossip, giggles and a million dreams is different from a hurried breakfast, putting an access card around your neck, and slipping into formal shoes.
And then comes the time when you walk into a CCD alone. Order coffee, pull out a book and avoid eye contact with happy couples all around.Alone.
Because there comes a point when you will be forced to have lunch alone The first time I walked into a restaurant, hesitantly and when the usher asked how many people, I had wished the earth would swallow me when I said one. Why is this happening to me? Is my social life so dead that I have no one to accompany me to a restaurant?
That was more than a year ago.
In a year where I travelled to locations where I dint know the local language or a single soul, I have eaten alone in some shady and some must-visit joints.
I have shopped alone when everyone’s social calendar was too booked to accommodate me.
On days I get bored I walk around aimlessly window shopping till I find a bookstore.
Perhaps the only thing I haven’t done alone is watch a movie, and once the movies are back at the multiplexes am sure I ll do that as well.
I wrote this because I know a lot of girls would rather sit bored at home than venture out alone. I was one of them till I found how liberating it is to do your own thing, at your own pace.
Yes given a choice I will prefer company but if not then the fact that I am alone isn’t going to stop me from doing something I want to do.
As status messages in FB go from single->engaged->married at lightening pace and marriage invites flood the inbox I figure I ll be doing more things alone as friends slowly and steadily drop out of social circle.
PS: I do often attribute doing my own thingy is a little stronger than needed in me. Maybe that is why I have lost so many friends on the way. I have tried to remember the birthdays as well as I can but have often not been there when I was required. Solely because I was doing my own thing. Call me selfish but that doesn’t dim the kinship I have felt towards anyone at any point in my life. Maybe I floundered what could have been. But given a second chance I am sure I wouldn’t do anything different.
May 24, 2009
Err.Hi.Hello.Still there?
Good.
Now people who know me in the real world,will know how my life’s motto roughly translates into
“aaj kare so kal kar,kal kre so parso,
pal main parlay hoyegi to kuch khaas farak nahi padega kisiko“
Once saint Kabir stops spinning in his grave we shall proceed further.
So.
Am really not all guilty.I did try some angsty poetry.(Yes those 5 lines,ya the ones below the pic of coffee mugs)
Seriously there is only so much creativity supervising ABAP code changes can inspire in you. But yes I did rappelling in between and even though the height wasn’t much my hands shook, sweaty palms happened (this till now has only happened when I have to deliver stage speeches without a paper, which was 7 years ago). I dint trust the rope to bear my weight and scrawny guy holding the belay rope to successfully break my free fall but I did descend successfully and even went at it for a second time.
Honestly, no adrenaline rush compares to that of fear of imminent death (or physical maiming)
Otherwise one has blissfully settled into life and routine which involves pressing snooze buttons often, being careful to have only diet coke after a cheeseburst pizza and checking facebook every five minutes.
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I also recommend a casual saunter around Pali Hill-Out of the Blue-Olive for the experience of having your self esteem ripped from your being and then being trampled by 4” stilettos. (Make them Manolo Blahniks please.)This if your self esteem is roughly ruled by the size of your waist, your ability to balance on heels, the LV tote in one arm and the chiseled hunk on the other as you step out of your Audi. Since you can say I never had any of these to begin with that should make me quite free from all clutches of ego and the self to enjoy the meal at the above mentioned location, one can only reply the stilletos belonged to legs which were 18 yeasr old and one has crossed that age and looks and is still very very far from acquiring any such earthly possessions.
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I read Amit Varma’s My friend Sancho today. It’s a fun read definitely especially if you are used to his blog (like I am after almost 2 years). But it’s a tad filmi and the ending reminded me of this incident which happened at a buffet. I left my plate for a second to pick something from the buffet area because I dint want to do the whole balancing a fully loaded plate with katoris of dal and raita. When I picked my pappad and returned to seat the waiter had cleared my plate.
Yeah that wont make much sense except that the feeling I got at the end was Huh,what just happened?
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I am really not the talkative types but encourage me a little and I can get down to gruesome details like the dal I had in the afternoon was this mustardish shade. So I’ll wrap up the comeback post.
Another one of my sparkling qualities is my ability at housework. My love for order and neatness around me is well known.(At this moment all former roommates die of convulsive laughter)
So yes, I am currently living in a heap of clothes which need to be sorted for the simple reason that after filling up the cupboards, the chairs they now reside on my bed. I have been known to move such clothes/books/bags to one side of the bed and curl up in fetal position in the remaining 1cm square area and have a sound night’s sleep but really am not even finding that 1cm any longer.
So I ll just do that you have a happy Sunday evening!
May 15, 2009
*viennese coffee at Flurrys.
E75 3.5mpx camera.Photo chori karne wale tera muuh kaala.
May 15, 2009
Curdled milk.
Broken wings.
Withered petals.
Flying ashes.
Rotting soul.
The bitter aftertaste of disillusioned dreams.
My blog is worth $5,080.86.
How much is your blog worth?
